cucur

lawak cucur udang..

pada suatu petang ada seorang lelaki yang bernama abu makan cucur udang di sebuah gerai..ketika sedang makan dia perasaan bahawa tiada seekor pun udang didalam cucur badak dia..dengan perasaan tidak puas hati dah muka poyo dia ber tanya pada makcik kedai tersebut

abu: makcik kenaper tidak ada seekor udang pun dalam cucur saya nie mak cik,kalau nak untung pun berpada2 la jgn cekik darah pulak...

makcik tu pun gan muka tak bersalah dan selamba menjawab

makcik : kau nie pun ngong jugak yer abes tu kalau nama dia cucur badak takkan kena adak badak dalam cucur tu. tu hanya nama jer la..

setelah mendengar penjelasan makcik tersebut abu dgn muka seposen membayanr harga cucur yang di makan nya dan tidak datang lagi ke kedai tersebut kerana malu..
moral citer jgn cepat melatah sebelum berfikir maksudnya lu pikir la sendiri hahaha

How to Make a Woman Happy??

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. Compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY??
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

BERANILAH kamu...

Beranilah

Jangan menunggu senyuman, baru mahu berbuat baik
Jangan menunggu dicintai, baru mahu mencintai
Jangan menunggu kesepian melanda, baru menghargai persahabatan
Jangan menunggu pekerjaan terbaik, baru mahu sungguh bekerja
Jangan menunggu mendapatkan banyak, baru mahu berbagi
Jangan menunggu kegagalan tiba, baru ingat dengan nasihat-nasihat
Jangan menunggu kesulitan muncul, baru mahu percaya dengan doa
Jangan menunggu adanya waktu, baru mahu melayani
Jangan menunggu orang lain terluka, baru mahu meminta maaf
Jangan menunggu.... ..., kerana kamu tak tahu berapa lama waktumu
Jangan menunggu.... ..., BERANILAH!!!!


- i.d.i.s.h.a.h.r.i.z.a.l -

hahaha..lawak2

Ali bengang giler bileDia dapati cucur udang yg dibeli x de sekor Udang pun kat dlm nyer..Lalu dia pun pi balik ke gerai makcik jual Kuih TU.Dgn panasHati dia tanye kat makcik yg jual TU...

"makcik apsal cucur Udang inSekor udang pun x de?!"

Makcik yg jual TU pn dgn selambernyeMenjawab "abih TU yg ko beliCucur badak Ada x badak kat dlmnya?! Camne Plak dgn cucur kodok, Ade xkodok yg melompat kat ko?!

Ali raseMcm nk bunuh diri dgn jwpan yg diberi makcik Tadi....

**Moral:Hidup in kena byk bersabar! Sabar adalah Sebahagian dari IMAN.Anggap segala yg berlaku, hanya utk menguji KeIMANan Kita.... AMIN...

Renungan bersama

Untuk Renungan Bersama:

1) Dari bujang-kahwin No 1 ---- no.2 ----- DLL.
2) Dari pakai moto kap --- kancil-wira --- Honda ---- seterusnye..
3) Badminton ----- Golf ----
4) Rumah sewa---- rumah murah ---rumah teres --- banglow...
5) Technician ----supervisor ----- engineer --- manager...
6) Tv 14' --- 21' --- 29' ---- Home theather...
7) Sg Danga --- Tanjung Leman --- Langkawi ---- Hadnyai --- Bangkok ..
8) Dalam semua segi kita mau kan perubahan kearah yang lebih baik danglamour...
9) mancing kat parit /longkang ---- sungai --- kolam (bayar punye)----laut dalam (sewa bot mewah)...... Kalong

TETAPI...KITA JUGA LUPA....SEMAKIN BANYAK KITA KECAPI KEJAYAAN, SEMAKIN HAMPIRLAH SAAT KEMATIANKITA....DITAKUTI SEMAKIN BERJAYA, KITA SEMAKIN LUPA, SEMUA YANG KITA DAPAT ADALAHPEMBERIAN TUHAN...'ON LOAN'...SETIAP KALI KITA BUAT ACTION PLAN ATAU BUAT REVISION, BERAPA BANYAKKAHKITA MASUKKAN ITEM-ITEM YANG MEMBAWA KEARAH 'PERSEDIAAN UNTUK MATI'

Umpamanya:
1) tak sembahyang ---- pastikan sembahyang-- -jadikan amalan.....
2) banyak maksiat ----- kurangkan ----- hapuskan...
3) Bangi ---- madinah ---- mekah---
4) sedekah RM1.00 ---- RM10.00 --- RM100.00/
5) sembahyang dirumah --- sembahyang di surau/masjid. ...
6) 5 jam sehari menonton TV ----- 3 jam TV & 2 jam majlis ILMU....
7) 3 jam baca suratkabar/majalah /internet ----- 2 jam majalah/suratkhabar/internet & 1 jam membaca AL QURAN /selawat , zikir.
8) Apa-apa aktiviti yang hasilnya adalah untuk AKHIRAT.Tetapi apa yang banyak berlaku pada ZAMAN AKHIR ini ialah PERSONAL improvement banyak kepada kearah KEDUNIAAN SEMATA. Perkara berkaitanAKHIRAT slowly di ketepikan....

Fikir2kan lah..

gambar kami cun tak

hehehe

The Smoking Habit: Make it too expensive for them to smoke

THE Consumers Association of Penang welcomes the recent announcement by the Health Ministry of tougher measures to be taken against smoking. These include graphic health warnings on cigarette packs by January, the ban on the use of misleading descriptors such as “l ow - tar”, “mild”, “light” and “ul - tra-light” and an increase in no-smoking zones.
However, we are concerned to note that after 10 years of government anti-smoking campaigns, there has only been a two per cent drop in the number of smokers.
The magnitude of the smoking epidemic in Malaysia cannot be downplayed. More than 50 per cent of adult males are smokers. About 50 children below the age of 18 take up smoking every day, not to mention the 10,000 who die every year from smoking-related ailments. It has been estimated that the gover nment spends at least about RM4.8 billion yearly to treat tobaccorelated diseases.
We need even more stringent measures to consolidate our stand against the tobacco menace.
Section 16(1) of the Control of Tobacco Product Regulations 2004 clearly states: “The manufacturer shall pack the cigarettes in a packet containing not less than 20 sticks of c i g a r e t t e s. ” Unfortunately, cigarettes are still being sold in packs of 14. We understand the ban of these small packs has been deferred to 2010 as a result of an “administrative order”.
This order should be revoked and the sale of packs of 14 be halted without further delay.
The sale of loose cigarettes has also been banned for some time now by the gover nment.
However, CAP has just completed a random survey in Penang and found that eight out of 15 shops were selling loose cigarettes. Our survey results could very well be an indication that the situation is widespread in Penang and throughout the country.
In addition, the ban on smoking should be extended to cover all public places, including restaurants, bars, parks and recreation areas.
A licensing system that limits the number and location of outlets allowed to sell tobacco products should also be introduced.
Every outlet that sells tobacco or tobacco products could be licensed — and subject to yearly renewal. This renewal of licences could be blocked if any conditions of the licence are violated.
There also needs to be a very steep increase in taxes and duties on tobacco products, with the resultant price increases of cigarette packs to deterrent levels — an effective means for keeping the product out of reach of most of the popu l at i o n .
CAP also urges the government to raise the minimum legal age for purchase of tobacco products from 18 to 21 years, to match the legal voting age or the age of reason.
It is obvious that not all the provisions to enhance control over tobacco products and smoking will be covered in the amendments to the regulations.
Therefore, the Tobacco Control Act should quickly foll ow.
We understand that the draft is ready. CAP calls on the Health Ministry to set an early date for the release of this draft for public review and comment.
The Framework Convention on Tobacco Control (FCTC) emphasises the need for strong political commitment to develop and support tobacco- control measures.
It is hoped that the government will give its firm commitment to implementing effective measures.
Ideally, tobacco should be banned completely.